I recently attended a wedding where the pastor used Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 as his text to describe marriage:
Two are better than one…If either of them falls down, one can help the other up…But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
But this text is not about marriage. The lying down together is not sexual, it was simply practical in an era where there was no indoor heating. You would lie down together so you didn’t freeze! The third strand of the cord is not referring to God; it’s referring to a third human. The context these four verses is humans helping humans. God isn’t going to lie down with you in bed and keep you warm.
When we read ideas about marriage into the text (as the pastor did), it not only belittles singles (“oh pity them!”), it also places an unbiblical emphasis on marriage. It shames singles and portrays them as second-class Christians who God is holding out on.
If you want to use the “cord of three strands” imagery in your marriage ceremony to depict you, your spouse and God, that’s fine. But don’t preach a sermon saying that the meaning of Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 is for married people in a way that directly precludes its application to single people. The meaning of the text has to do with friendship and community, things that singles are uniquely… [Read more…] about What the Bible Actually Says About Singleness