Trigger Warning: sexual assault and eating disorders.
Memory–a bewitching realm, magical and melancholy, real and imagined–absconds as soon as it is experienced. We do not know where The Past hides, but it is both heavenly and harrowing that we live in a reality cursed to fade as soon as it is felt.
When I first meet people, I often ask them about their first memory. Most people respond with a wistful sigh, furrowed brows, and a recollection of vague impressions composed of colors, nebulous sense-perceptions, and broad brushstrokes of consciousness inextricably linked with their emotional awareness.
My first memory is vivid; I was sitting in my wooden high chair. I recall some edible substance on the little table before me; I remember reaching my arm toward the food, grabbing it, and attempting to place it in my mouth. And I remember looking at my hands and my arms, and feeling an emotion that I now know to be wonder. I could move my fingers! I had control over this … this thing–this body; I could control my hands! What magic!
I often strain to remember that feeling I had when I was a toddler, when it was still such a magical thing that I had the ability to pick up my Cheerios, that I could wiggle my toes, or that I could raise my arms to play peek-a-boo with my father. And I always thought how interesting it was that my first memory was remarking on the oddity of me having a body. Physical awareness was not… [Read more…] about Of Cheerios and Trump