Unfundamentalist

Above All, Love

Lydia Joy

God, Guns, and Grieving

by Lydia Joy in Current Events

I live in small town USA, so I’m told. Here in rural Virginia, we’re surrounded by farmland. Crops that are dedicated entirely to peanuts, corn, soybeans—and my county is one of the largest suppliers of cotton. With a population of no more than five hundred, a few family-owned businesses, four churches, one stop light, and the nearest shopping mall a thirty mile drive, it’s safe to say we’re smaller than most. I’ve spent most of my childhood here and, with neighbors knowing neighbors, I grew to love the security it provided. When you were in need, you were helped. It didn’t matter for what, someone always would step up.

Growing up in the South, there are advantages to being surrounded by profound history. Heritage is something that is nothing short of identity for many I have known over the years, even if I never shared that feeling. With both of my parents originally from Upstate New York, there was always a disconnect to how strongly rooted those around me were. But I was raised in a fundamentalist church and it was common to see signs of that southern identity everywhere.

“Dixie” was sung for special occasions, and shouting and cheers about how “the South will rise again” regularly occured during Sunday evening services. The Rebel Flag was worn on lapels and Stonewall Jackson’s prayers were recited. Sermons dedicated to America returning to the God that She had turned Her back on were constant. Old Glory, George Washington, Patrick Henry, and General Robert E. Lee… [Read more…] about God, Guns, and Grieving

Mind Over Matter: Spirituality That Fueled a Stigma

by Lydia Joy in Christian Issues

For far too long mental illness has been associated with spirituality or, more rather, the lack of it. It’s a complex issue, and conversations surrounding it is often challenging. Why is this? Why does society find it taboo, deeming it something we just don’t talk about?

I’m here, speaking and listening, jumping head first into this very important conversation.

I come to this conversation through my experience of growing up in Christian Fundamentalism as well as a front row seat to watching a loved one battle depression and multiple suicide attempts. Both of these gave me feelings of dread and embarrassment I carried for many years. The stigma accompanying mental illness overshadows individual bodies, their brains, and welfare, reducing their value to an oversimplified concept of sin.

Not too long ago, I reached out in a post on social media, telling my friends without too much detail that I just didn’t understand why things had to be a certain way. I was upset and disappointed for a dear friend, but the perception was that I was battling depression. This was unintentional, but it led to an opportunity for others to comment and began a conversation that only a few years ago I would have avoided entirely.

One of those comments, from what I believe was a well-meaning Christian, suggested that we all struggle, but when we confess our depression as a sin then God offers forgiveness in this battle.

The comment took my breath away. Momentarily stunned, I found myself… [Read more…] about Mind Over Matter: Spirituality That Fueled a Stigma

The Prophecy of Prejudice

by Lydia Joy in Fundamentalism

For many years, I had anticipated with anxiety last Friday’s presidential announcement that Jerusalem would finally be recognized as the capital of Israel, of God’s Chosen People. I felt fear and panic whenever I saw something that I had been told meant a prophecy was being fulfilled, and was leading our world closer to its cleansing and its end: the final Judgment of all judgments, ringing in the Rapture where God’s saints would be fetched up with a single trumpet signaling we were “going home” to heaven.

Being part of God’s Kingdom meant many things to me as a child. For one, it meant I wouldn’t burn in a literal hell for eternity. Also, it meant I would be reunited with any loved one who had believed and accepted Christ as their personal Savior, granting them a place to worship at His throne forever. So, two major things that concluded in a positive way of thinking, right?

Wrong.

I say this because I know the other teachings Christian Fundamentalism includes. Forgiveness of sins is only part of the salvation they preached. As a Christian, you’ve also reserved a place to point out those that have not experienced such forgiveness, deeming others of your fellow human race damned by the guidelines you were given to separate the “Goats from the Sheep.”

As a child, I have strong memories of scanning crowds of strangers, searching for other believers, because I knew if they didn’t resemble me, chances were they were going to hell, and this brought terrifying images… [Read more…] about The Prophecy of Prejudice

Breaking Free: A Survivor’s Anthem

by Lydia Joy in Poetry

Breaking Free
A Survivor’s Anthem

They say just to forget,
Pretend, get over it.
Move on, start over again.

But the memory, the pain,
Made to feel ashamed,
Still linger, still fight, a battle in my brain.

I’m not gonna cover up these scars.
I’m breaking away from these prison bars.
I’m stronger than I’ve ever been.
Won’t lock myself in that prison again.

I’m breaking free. I can finally breathe.
I’m trying to forgive, to finally live.
I’ve still got this memory that never will fade.
I’m letting go. I’m walking away.
I’m breaking free.

Sometimes they are scars.
Other times open wounds.
At moments, I question how I made it through.

And when it all comes back and I have to relive,
Somewhere deep in my soul, I beg God to help me forget.

All the scary nights. All the tears I cried.
All those people who said I lied…
I’m letting go.

I’m breaking free. I can finally breathe.
I’m trying to forgive, to finally live.
I’ve still got this memory that never will fade.
I’m letting go. I’m walking away.
I’m breaking free.

Don’t cover up your scars.
Go ahead, break away from those prison bars.
You’re stronger than you’ve ever been.
You’ll never need to lock yourself in that prison again.
You’re breaking free.

 

Photo via Unsplash.

About Lydia Joy
Lydia Joy is a childhood sexual abuse survivor and former member of Independent… [Read more…] about Breaking Free: A Survivor’s Anthem

Me Too: Finding My Voice Outside of Fundamentalism

by Lydia Joy in Fundamentalism

Trigger warning: childhood sexual abuse.

Me, too.

With two little words, I joined a campaign. Signed up and shouted, “No more silence! No more with the lack of accountability! No more with the victim shaming!” It’s a campaign that has been long overdue for many of us out there. Our experiences and our accounts fell on deaf ears for many years, regardless if the actual abuse had since ended, all because our stories were too uncomfortable for others to hear.

My story is typical of many other former Christian Fundamentalists: for at least seven years as a child, I was sexually and physically abused by two male family members. One perpetrator is serving twenty-seven years in prison for crimes he committed against me and other victims, the other has never spent one day locked away due to a “lack of convincing details” about that summer when I was twelve.

To my knowledge, the pastor of my Independent Fundamental Baptist (IFB) church knew about my abuse and decided not to intervene. No law enforcement involvement was ever sought out. No professional counseling was offered. The victim shaming, however, thrived within that environment.

For many years, it was like a roller-coaster of events and emotions. A series of ups and downs regarding my story were whispered within my childhood church and by others closely connected with it. To this day, twelve years later, the memories of the shaming remain. Sometimes, I wanted to become invisible, to shrink into… [Read more…] about Me Too: Finding My Voice Outside of Fundamentalism