Unfundamentalist

Above All, Love

Emma Higgs

Faith in the Fog: On Losing Beliefs and Finding God

by Emma Higgs in Christian Issues

This guest post was written by Emma Higgs and is part of her Faith in the Fog series about her experiences with doubt, skepticism, mental health, and forging a different kind of faith. You can follow the entire series on her blog.

There are certain ways Christians talk about God that turn me into an atheist.

I can’t help it. As much as I try to ignore it, my inner skeptic is constantly on the lookout for holes in the God theory. It will find a loose thread and keep tugging until the whole thing unravels. Before I know it, my cherished beliefs in a loving God have disintegrated and I’ve unwittingly written off the entire Christian faith as superstitious nonsense.

Any troubling question or rogue thought can trigger this unravelling process. But few things give my inner skeptic a firmer foothold than Christians making statements of apparent certainty regarding their beliefs.

We are certain that God will prevent this bad thing from happening.

This is definitely what will happen when we die.

This is the one correct interpretation of this two-and-a-half-thousand-year-old passage of Hebrew scripture.

Really?

Sometimes I feel like being a Christian requires me to switch off my brain altogether.

Now, this confidence and assuredness seems to work for a lot of people. But for me, an assertion like that is all it takes for the fog to descend. Questions and doubts start spinning around my… [Read more…] about Faith in the Fog: On Losing Beliefs and Finding God

Faith in the Fog: Love as Our Compass

by Emma Higgs in Christian Issues

This guest post was written by Emma Higgs and is part of her Faith in the Fog series. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, Part 3 here, or follow the entire series on her blog.

“Deconstruction” is a bit of a buzzword at the moment in some Christian circles. For various reasons, many of us have found ourselves dismantling our belief systems and questioning long-held assumptions.

For some people, the deconstruction experience can be overwhelmingly positive and freeing. They are able to see things from refreshing new perspectives and discard aspects of their belief system that were oppressive or harmful.

For others, faith deconstruction can be like losing a parent: utterly devastating and disorientating.

My experience has been a bit of both. Sometimes, deconstructing feels great. It feels like I’m standing on the edge of a whole new world of possibilities. My faith is renewed and I am filled with hope, content to revel in the mystery and wonder of it all.

Other times I feel like I’m stumbling around in a dense fog, desperately grasping for something to help me find my way, something to give meaning and assurance. (I plan to address the emotional and mental health issues surrounding faith deconstruction later in this series.)

I used to find meaning and assurance in my firm beliefs, based on the solid foundation of the Bible. My belief system was the anchor of my faith, and offered a neat, static framework within which to… [Read more…] about Faith in the Fog: Love as Our Compass

Faith in the Fog: Making Peace With the Messiness of the Bible

by Emma Higgs in Christian Issues

This guest post was written by Emma Higgs and is part of her Faith in the Fog series. You can read Part 1 here, Part 2 here, or follow the entire series on her blog.

My Christian faith has undergone some drastic changes in recent years.

I’ve often wondered if my growing skepticism would eventually lead me to abandon faith altogether.

As it turns out, diving all the way in to my deepest doubts and fears hasn’t led me away from Christianity, but instead has revealed a richness and beauty to the Christian faith I had never known. It now resonates on a much deeper level, and seems to speak more profound truth than it ever did before.

This sort of faith can be difficult and frustratingly foggy at times, but it has an honesty and authenticity that allows it to exist comfortably alongside my skepticism. It allows me to fully engage my brain as well as my heart, and isn’t so easily shaken when faced with the inevitable tough questions.

One of the most significant changes has been to the way I see the Bible.

Contrary to well-meaning advice from many a concerned Christian, reading the Bible is not a good cure for skepticism. In my experience, it usually magnifies it.

The Bible is messy.

It’s confusing and contradictory and just plain weird in some places. For a skeptic like me, every passage raises new questions and doubts, and shines a floodlight on any that were already lurking in the shadows. For a while, I actually refused to… [Read more…] about Faith in the Fog: Making Peace With the Messiness of the Bible

Faith in the Fog: Science, Atheism and the Search for Proof

by Emma Higgs in Christian Issues

This guest post was written by Emma Higgs and is part of her Faith in the Fog series. You can read Part 1 here, or follow the entire series on her blog.

The Fear of Science
One of the biggest steps toward learning to deal with my own crippling skepticism has been to convince myself that Christianity is not irrational.

Deep down, I had always feared that if I thought too deeply or learned too much about science, this faith that brought hope and meaning to my life would eventually be exposed as wishful thinking, no more credible than an ancient myth or fairy tale.

You know what I’m talking about.

That nagging suspicion that if the beliefs at the center of our faith were examined under a microscope for too long they might disappear into nothing, revealed to be unfounded and delusional.

The fear that science might disprove God.

In its more extreme forms, this fear of science leads some Christians to make absurd claims about the historical and scientific accuracy of Biblical texts. They fear that if even one aspect of their belief system is proven false, the whole thing might collapse. In the eyes of these Christians, scientists must be either deluded or evil, deliberately trying to distort the truth.

My fear of science came in subtler forms. For example, it concerned me that spiritual experiences and “answers to prayer” could be explained away by psychology and neuroscience. How could I fully trust the Christian story if science was able to give equally… [Read more…] about Faith in the Fog: Science, Atheism and the Search for Proof

Faith in the Fog: Surviving as a Skeptical Christian

by Emma Higgs in Christian Issues

How do I trust God when I’m no longer convinced he even exists?

How do I stop myself from being swallowed whole by the fear and despair that can come from seriously rethinking my beliefs?

How do I pray when it seems like there’s probably no-one listening?

Can my faith survive this?

If you have ever asked questions like these, I hope you know that you are not alone.

If your doubts become so overwhelming that you wonder if you are losing your faith altogether, then you are in good company.

Having serious doubts about the faith that has been a (possibly the) central part of your life can be unsettling, confusing, and scary.

I don’t know many things for sure these days, but I am fairly certain that it’s possible to have an authentic, healthy, and soul-nourishing faith while also being a skeptic. I continue to wrestle with these questions almost daily, but I no longer fear that I am losing my faith. I actually think these questions are a valuable part of my faith.

One of the biggest shifts in my thinking has been the realization that faith is not supposed to be about having strong beliefs.

It’s still a widespread assumption that being a Christian is mostly about what you believe. Of course, how you choose to live is important — there are very few Christians who would deny that. But it seems to me that what matters most to the majority… [Read more…] about Faith in the Fog: Surviving as a Skeptical Christian

Confessions of a Doubting Christian

by Emma Higgs in Christian Spirituality

Some days I find it really hard to believe in God.

I sit in church surrounded by the familiar, friendly faces, perusing the notice sheet as the worship band finish their sound check with a chorus of “10,000 Reasons,” and I’m convinced we’ve made it all up.

We’re kidding ourselves, aren’t we? It’s obviously just wishful thinking. A fairy story. A diversion from reality, far too good to be true.

The questions rage, unfiltered, through my mind.

“If there is a God, why would he answer our prayers about the weather for the summer youth camp whilst ignoring the cries of a Syrian mother begging for her three young children to be spared?”

“Even if there is a God who answers prayer, how likely is it that we predominantly white, middle class Baptists in 21st century Britain have him/her all figured out?”

“Isn’t it perfectly possible that all our ‘spiritual’ experiences and answers to prayer can be explained away by psychology and neuroscience?”

I look around at other people in the congregation and wonder, is it just me? Or are there others who have these same doubts but are too afraid to admit it?

It seems to me that people are walking out of church and losing their faith altogether because they are never given space to ask the tough questions. When their worldview expands and the “truth” they were taught in Sunday School stops making sense, the church responds by praying for their poor, backsliding souls and offering easy answers and carefully selected Bible verses.

We have a… [Read more…] about Confessions of a Doubting Christian

Love, Love, Love: The painfully misunderstood, profoundly simple, earth-shattering message of Jesus

by Emma Higgs in Christian Spirituality

 

If someone was to ask me to sum up the message of Jesus in a few words, I would probably quote the Beatles:

“All you need is love.”

Love. 

Not just shallow, gooey, fluffy, romantic love.

The kind of love that sets people free.

Love that gives of itself endlessly and asks for nothing in return.

Love that fights tirelessly for the needs and rights of strangers.

Love that breaks down barriers, crosses borders, and shatters social constructs and expectations.

Love that sees the beauty in all life and seeks to honor, treasure, and nurture it.

Love that treats the outcasts of society as if they were worth more than all the diamonds, gold, and oil in the world combined.

Love that brings tangible hope to those who are suffering physical or emotional pain … those who are lonely, lost or terrified … those whose hearts ache with grief … those who long for deeper meaning and significance.

Love that points to a greater reality, a greater purpose, and a greater future for the whole of creation.

Love that never, ever, ever gives up.

That is the kind of love that brings transformation.

This is not a sideline to the main Gospel message in the Bible, an optional add-on that helps to make life more bearable but is ultimately pointless.

This is the point.

Over the centuries, we “Christians” have complicated and distorted this message. We have added conditions, built walls, piled on guilt. We have… [Read more…] about Love, Love, Love: The painfully misunderstood, profoundly simple, earth-shattering message of Jesus

Dear Non-LGBT-Affirming Christians, Please Search Your Hearts

by Emma Higgs in LGBT

I’ve just seen a news article showing the faces of those killed in Orlando’s Pulse nightclub on Saturday night.

Face after face; beautiful, young, LGBT+ people, their eyes full of light and life.

Lives so precious, unique, fragile, sacred.

Each one reflecting the image of their Creator.

Each one a beloved son or daughter. Their loss is a gaping wound, a searing pain, an everlasting ache.

LGBT+ people around the world are feeling the impact of the Orlando shooting deeply. They are mourning the deaths of these people as if they were family, connected somehow by invisible but unbreakable strands.

This is because they know.

They know what it’s like to be despised for who they are.

They have felt the hatred in the cold glances and suspicious stares.

They know how it feels to have disapproval and disgust pushed down upon them like a suffocating pillow.

They have felt the fear of physical attack.

Non-LGBT-affirming Christian, I know you know this.

I know you are outraged by this shooting. I know you feel the anguish and pain of the friends and families and are praying for them.

But when you say that you “love the sinner, hate the sin,” or offer condolences with the qualification that you “don’t agree with homosexuality,” do you realize what you are doing?

You are preventing people from being fully alive.

In trying to save people from their sin, you are oppressing… [Read more…] about Dear Non-LGBT-Affirming Christians, Please Search Your Hearts