Caroline Garnet McGraw

The Theology of Audrey Hepburn and Pippin the Deer

October 25, 2017 by Caroline Garnet McGraw in Christian Spirituality

Recently, I was at a medical appointment and the nurse asked me about my religious affiliation.

The question took me aback, in part because I wasn’t expecting it and in part because I didn’t know how to answer it.

How could I be honest and also fit my answer into a box on the intake form? The words stuck in my throat.

When We Don’t Fit Into Boxes

Longtime readers of my blog, A Wish Come Clear, know the broad strokes of my spiritual history.

You know that having a younger brother who thought differently gave me a firm belief in heaven as a place without barriers.

You know that I attended a cultic church in childhood, and that the experience gave me both beauty and baggage.

You know that I begged God’s forgiveness for every mistake, then discovered that God didn’t need to forgive me because God never judged me. (Unconditional love doesn’t judge!)

But what box to check for all of this?
Introducing Audrey Hepburn and Pippin
In the end, what clarified my spiritual beliefs was a series of photographs of Audrey Hepburn with a fawn named Pippin. These images left me speechless with delight.

Why Audrey?

Audrey Hepburn is my favorite actress because she is winsome and funny and entirely herself. By all accounts an introvert, she demonstrates a quiet confidence, a strength grounded in sensitivity.

Plus, seeing her as Holly Golightly in Breakfast At Tiffany’s gets me every time. Holly’s lifestyle choices – however chaotic and misguided –… [Read more…] about The Theology of Audrey Hepburn and Pippin the Deer

You Have Permission to Walk Out

July 12, 2016 by Caroline Garnet McGraw in Christian Spirituality

I’m not proud of this, but here’s the truth: I waste a lot of time gripped by false guilt.

This past winter, for example, I felt guilty that my husband Jonathan and I spent $11 on ornaments for our Christmas tree. I felt bad in part because I am naturally frugal, and in part because I was taught by my childhood church that Christmas trees were “pagan” and off-limits to true believers.

As Jonathan and I stood in the check-out line, I said, “Um … should we really buy these? Maybe it’s too much. I feel guilty. I could put them back … ?”

Jonathan paused. We’d agreed to shop for ornaments, so he had every right to be annoyed. Instead, he thoughtfully replied, “It seems like you feel guilty about a lot of things unnecessarily. So maybe guilt isn’t a reliable indicator of whether or not you should do something.”

BAM. He was right. My guilt gauge is overly responsive. It goes off at the slightest “infraction,” so I can’t look to it for a true reading. Instead, I can acknowledge false guilt, then make a deliberate choice about what I want to do.

This takes a lot of practice, but it’s worth it. One recent Sunday, I arrived late to church and felt–you’ll never guess!–guilty. But I coached myself:

You are allowed to be imperfectly punctual–even your pastor says so! (This is one of the many reasons why you love her.) Remember, it was hard for you to come here today, since you’re feeling vulnerable. So instead of being hard on yourself, maybe you can give… [Read more…] about You Have Permission to Walk Out