Unfundamentalist

Above All, Love

Brettany Renee Blatchley

The Visit

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in LGBT

Shortly before Mother’s Day, my sister called and granted me a ten minute visit with Mom, who, I learned, had been hospitalized for a month with pneumonia.

After I gently “came-out” to her in a letter last autumn, Mom did not want to see me again nor speak with me. Earlier this year, she relented and called me for a quick chat, specifically prohibiting any talk about my transition and new life as a woman.

A few days ago I called, casually saying that I was passing by and would she be up to my giving her a Mother’s Day hug? I had driven two hours so that I could “pass by.” No answer; there were cars at her home with my sister. Mom never got my messages; I learned my sister’s husband prevented that.

Unexpectedly, my sister called my spouse Judi at the urging of my aunt, who is close to each of us. I was asked not to wear “dangle” earrings, which I took to mean that they did not want me to appear looking like a sex-worker. In the aforementioned letter, I had told Mom that I “blend-in” with other middle-aged women: imagine the leap.

Mother’s Day, at the appointed time, me, Judi and our son arrived moments before five more members of the family: my sister and her husband, and his son, daughter-in-law, and their 15 month old daughter. So my little sister is a grandmother: that’s news to me too.

I was dressed nicely in a cheerful new blouse with jeans, sandals, a slender silver necklace, almost no makeup, hair pulled-back and yes, I wore my pearl-stud earrings – really quite… [Read more…] about The Visit

You're in a Safe Place Here…

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in LGBT

I had changed, was snuggled under the threadbare hospital blanket on a gurney in a frigid staging room. The nurse had been sweet as she took my hand in greeting, then started a saline IV; I thanked her and she left me. Then the doctor came in, another gentle hand; he asked me questions he already knew the answers to, and at last I added: “you know that I am a transgender woman, with mixed anatomy? I don’t want anyone to be surprised.” He smiled reassuringly and replied, “yes, I knew from the notes. There’s no problem; we see all kinds of bodies here;” I thanked him and then he left…

…It was time, and the anesthesiologist came, introduced herself and wheeled me into the dim procedure room nearby. Once inside she introduced me to the other members of the team, and they all smiled and greeted me, touching my hand warmly. I thanked them and gently, pensively said “just so there are no unpleasant surprises, I am a transgender woman and my anatomy is mixed.” The anesthesiologist must have seen the concern on my face, and as if she was giving me a warm hug, she thanked me and said “you’re in a *safe* place here…”

…Amid friendly chatter about the place I most wanted to visit (Australia), I quickly felt myself … enter … oblivion … seemingly moments later we resumed our conversation, this time everyone was talking about their favorite local craft beers. Procedure done, I asked them if I had been a good patient while I had been “under,” and they reassured me that I had done… [Read more…] about You're in a Safe Place Here…

When Does She Become He?

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in LGBT

What makes a woman and what makes a man; what is male and what is female? What was once a very taboo subject in our culture, only seriously (and quietly) contemplated by doctors and researchers, is becoming dinner-table talk with the new, greater visibility of transgender and intersex people. Perhaps a little thought experiment can add to this conversation?

Say that Sarah is an ordinary woman inside and out. When would she stop being a woman, a female, and what would it take to make her a male, a man? Consider:

DNA: Let’s exchange one of Sarah’s X chromosomes for a Y. Would this make her a male, a man? Not necessarily. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome is an intersex condition in which a person’s body is unable to respond to testosterone. So their body does not masculinize from the default female form of all mammals, including humans. With Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS), Sarah is a girl to all outward appearances: she is assigned female, usually knows herself to be a girl, and is raised as a girl. Then as she approaches womanhood, it is discovered that she cannot menstruate and is sterile; further investigation reveals her to be a female with XY DNA.[1]

There are also instances where the SRY gene (the short arm of the Y gene) malfunctions[2] and does not stimulate the production of male internal genitalia, so this XY girl will never have testes, for example. And because she will not produce testosterone, her… [Read more…] about When Does She Become He?

Interlude: A Poem

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in Poetry

It is dark…

The waning moments of dusk flee the day’s weariness.

I turn the key and gently push into THERE.

Padding silently and gently,
Every fibre taut in growing
Holiness Their.

And like Moses who was, and is,
I step before God’s expansive
Presence.

Where in bare feet alone, my sin already atoned,

Lit only by the flames of my heart,
I sit in deafening silence before a throne.

And where it is low, I rest below,
Down where feet in their work-play, they go.

HERE for moments, maybe ages;
God is THERE and THERE is NEAR…

And my heart is hushed…

What is worship?

There is a piano in the dark;
My ears guide me to its place.

Cold pedals kiss my feet hello,
And on her keys, my fingers find their place.

It matters no,
Where my hands they go, as they begin to sing,

For I do not play piano – she plays with me!

And in the darkness our chords ring.

Gentle notes caressed, fill in THERE,
Ephemeral, Infinite, Instant, Eternal there.

Tears and nameless melody flow…and God KNOWS…

What is worship?

More ages pass, bright darkness fills;

Warm grow the pedals, and tremble, her wood thrills.

Deep chords vibrate, high notes ring;
Turn, turn intertwined,

And still they sing!

And they are themselves, alone for Thee,

For I do not play piano – she plays with me!

We dance before God:
Wood-steel, feet-fingers: in blessed lowliness revealed!

But no light to see, that God is near,
As my heart is bared: but not in fear.

And Love is… [Read more…] about Interlude: A Poem

Sunday Outing: A Transgender Woman Finds Acceptance

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in LGBT

“Yes, these women’s hands,” she said …

A cisgender woman I befriended at church a few months ago noticed I am unusual, but assumed that I was simply a tall woman of Scandinavian stock (which is largely true).

Sunday, I was driving her home from worship, and she made a comment in broken English, saying, “Renée, you did [such-and-such] as little girl?”

I looked at her tenderly, shook my head as I gently said, “Olga, I was never a little girl.”

Her eyes widened, “What?! You boy then?!”

With conviction I spoke, “Not exactly Olga.”

We were close to her house, and as we turned the corner, I said, “Remember when I told you about my spouse and said you can ask me anything? Would you like to know more about who I am?”

Olga is a new US citizen, in her mid sixties, and from Romania. She is kind-hearted, weather-beaten, deeply spiritual, and does not speak English well.

We stopped in her driveway, and I gently tried to explain, and then said, “Please let me show you.” I showed her my transitional video on my phone. She had difficulty understanding how this could be.

As the different pictures of me changing drew closer to the present, she kept asking, “Is that you? Is that you?” and then about two-thirds through she exclaimed, “That’s you! That’s you–I know your smile!”

…then she took my hands saying, “Don’t cry, don’t cry…”

She said, “Renée! You are woman! If God not want you that way, you would not be. You still my sister! But don’t tell… [Read more…] about Sunday Outing: A Transgender Woman Finds Acceptance

Dear Neighbors

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in Christian Issues, LGBT

America is my home. I love it for its landscape, its history, and especially its people. I grew-up here; I work here; I shop here; I go to church here; I raised a family here. I laugh, cry, live, and likely I will die here.

May I please share something intimate and important, something most people do not guess about my medical history? You see, I am a female person who has become a woman through her transgender nature and experience. My doctors and I have worked for years to help my body match the way my brain is wired. There are complicated reasons for this, and (for my case) the science is pointing to how I was formed in my mother’s womb.

Goodness! Why is this relevant to anything?

Well, it is important because I also use public bathrooms and change-areas. Yes, I know that’s “personal information,” and it should be … really, it should be. But what once was private for me, sadly may no longer be the case.

Some among us, mostly well-meaning people, grossly misunderstand people like me, and consider us to be a threat, even evil, for just existing as our authentic selves. Many assume God feels this way about us too.

That is difficult enough, but they also want it to be illegal for me to use the same bathroom and changing facilities that other women use, facilities I have used for years without incident.

In their eyes, nothing my doctors say, nothing science says, nothing I say, not my legal status, nothing that has or ever could be done to my body can… [Read more…] about Dear Neighbors