Unfundamentalist

Above All, Love

LGBT

I Was Wrong About Homosexuality

by Alex Camire in LGBT

I had a friend in high school. He was the closest friend I had who wasn’t a congregant at my church, and I didn’t have many friends outside of the church. We kept in contact after high school and hung out from time to time. About a year or two after high school, he said that he wanted to get together with me—there was something he wanted to tell me. We got coffee, and he ended up coming out to me, telling me that he was gay. I was the last person on his list of people he wanted to tell in person.

I grew up in a conservative Christian culture that was staunchly opposed to homosexuality. It’s hard to say that without bringing to mind an image of a bunch of angry protestors holding up signs saying “God Hates [gays].” We weren’t hostile zealots like that; we just had a particular belief like most Christians do when it comes to this topic. My friend knew I was of the conservative Christian tribe, which is why he had saved me for last. As close as we were, he was aware that this would affect our friendship.

How gracious can you be to someone while standing firm in the belief that their orientation is a sin? That’s how I was to my recollection. I wasn’t incensed or abrasive, I even pointed out that I wasn’t the type of Christian to ever stand with the signs that said God hated him (as if that would make me look better). When asked what my beliefs were about him being gay, I made all the standard arguments there were, while being as kind and respectful as I could. And at some… [Read more…] about I Was Wrong About Homosexuality

The Gift

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in Christian Spirituality, LGBT

Life goes on whatever our place and circumstances: love, joy, pain, and loss all seem to join hands as sisters.

My father in-law is named Bill; twenty-five years ago we met when I asked for the hand of his youngest daughter in marriage. Bill is eighty-eight and in the point in his Alzheimer’s where he can barely eat, hardly moves, and rarely makes a recognizable utterance. We love Bill, one of the smartest and kindest people I have ever met. His wife Barbara, a bit younger, faithfully cares for him with the help of a full-time, at-home nurse. We think that this will be our last Christmas with Pop and one of our last with Mom…

…These recent years, I have kept a low profile around Pop as Mom has gradually witnessed me transition. I am the same person, only different: always as much a daughter-in-law as I was a son, maybe more: now I look, sound and behave more a daughter than their own daughter, my spouse…

Pop’s mind has been declining for years, though he was a much sought-after engineer until his retirement at seventy-eight–his work probably saved a LOT of lives, but only God knows.

…I never told Bill that I am transgender and that I needed to become myself: a woman. He has known me as the one he entrusted to love and help his baby daughter through all her life-long illnesses. I never introduced him to Brettany, to Renée: I did not want to make his confused days even more difficult. So I smiled, spoke and touched gently, and helped move, bathe, and change him.… [Read more…] about The Gift

Is every Christian against gay marriage necessarily a bigot?

by in LGBT

The call of today’s anti-gay Christians is, “Stop calling us bigots, everyone! Just because we believe what the Bible says about homosexuality doesn’t make us bigots!”

So, let’s think about that.

Pertinent question #1: When, if ever, does the anti-gay Christian irrefutably become a bigot?

Answer? The moment that he or she does anything whatsoever to restrict the rights of any other person, based upon the fact that that person is gay.

It is not beliefs that make a bigot. It is actions.

If you vote against gay marriage, or gay rights, you are a bigot, as surely as anyone who voted against civil rights in the 60’s was a bigot.

If you preach against gay rights—no matter how high your pulpit—you are a bigot.

If you write against gay rights, you are a bigot.

If you give your money or time to any Christian church, organization, or ministry that you know in any way actively works to restrict or limit gay rights, you are a bigot.

If, in private, you intimate to anyone that you don’t think gay people should be allowed to get married, you are a bigot.

No one wants to be a bigot, of course: not even the most virulent KKK member will claim that repelling appellation for him or herself. But bigot is as bigot does.

And since it’s impossible for a person to hold a conviction—especially one based on religious beliefs—that they don’t in some way live out, it is, alas, safe to claim that any and every… [Read more…] about Is every Christian against gay marriage necessarily a bigot?

Are Gay People Welcome?

by Christopher Newport in LGBT

I recently revisited one of the churches I used to attend. The sermon was about Christians and the world, and was given by one of the pastors who I have known for many years and who I respect. He spoke about the troubles facing the world in general, but especially about the problems facing Western society, such as drug addiction, family abuse, alcohol dependency, and marriage equality. I was in shock!

Many Christians, such as my ex-pastor, do amazing work with the oppressed, the downtrodden, and the destitute. But sadly, they also treat homosexual people with contempt, fear, and disgust. Why? In 100 years, will our descendants look back at the church of today and wonder what all the fuss was about? The church is a living, evolving, and welcoming thing—isn’t it?

The Church versus the Secular World

I wasn’t a Christian until I was in my adulthood. So where did a young person, me, learn how to treat people? First, through my parents, who taught me about respect and kindness. Second, at a young age I found that I had a love for acting and the arts (and I still do). What I discovered in amateur theater was that people of different backgrounds, social standings, and beliefs were all welcomed. Specifically, gay people were—and still are—welcome in the theater community. The first gay people I met were through theater. I now have many gay friends and, quite frankly, their sexual orientation is of little interest to me. In theater we all work together for a common… [Read more…] about Are Gay People Welcome?

To the hate preacher at Pride

by Franziska Garner in LGBT

LGBT Pride events in smaller cities are growing. They give members of the LGBT community who do not live in large cities a sense of belonging and safety. Such an event was recently held at a community park in Lubbock, Texas, a city in the middle of nowhere, five hours from Dallas and four from Albuquerque. On that day, some 600 people came together to celebrate the bond they share and enjoy a true day of the rainbow.

That is, until Pastor M. showed up, began accusing the churches who were there of false teaching and telling people they would go straight to hell if they did not “repent for their sins.” Of course on a day like this no one listened to him. He must have felt very unimportant because on the same evening he posted this to the Facebook page of a local news station:

As a German, I fiercely believe in the separation of church and state. I fiercely believe in an individual’s right for self-definition. And, as a Christian, I passionately argue that God is love and love does not discriminate.

So I replied to his post with nothing more than a link to my educational blog about the LGBT community and Christianity. Not even an hour later he sent me a message. What followed was a somewhat civil exchange, where I tried to tell him that love does not judge, nor hate, nor reject. He, however, threw Bible quote after Bible quote at me and, once he realized that I would not back down, he showed his true opinion of me:

It shouldn’t matter. I shouldn’t get upset. Even my… [Read more…] about To the hate preacher at Pride

When Does She Become He?

by Brettany Renee Blatchley in LGBT

What makes a woman and what makes a man; what is male and what is female? What was once a very taboo subject in our culture, only seriously (and quietly) contemplated by doctors and researchers, is becoming dinner-table talk with the new, greater visibility of transgender and intersex people. Perhaps a little thought experiment can add to this conversation?

Say that Sarah is an ordinary woman inside and out. When would she stop being a woman, a female, and what would it take to make her a male, a man? Consider:

DNA: Let’s exchange one of Sarah’s X chromosomes for a Y. Would this make her a male, a man? Not necessarily. Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome is an intersex condition in which a person’s body is unable to respond to testosterone. So their body does not masculinize from the default female form of all mammals, including humans. With Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS), Sarah is a girl to all outward appearances: she is assigned female, usually knows herself to be a girl, and is raised as a girl. Then as she approaches womanhood, it is discovered that she cannot menstruate and is sterile; further investigation reveals her to be a female with XY DNA.[1]

There are also instances where the SRY gene (the short arm of the Y gene) malfunctions[2] and does not stimulate the production of male internal genitalia, so this XY girl will never have testes, for example. And because she will not produce testosterone, her… [Read more…] about When Does She Become He?

Will the Real Black Church Please Stand Up?

by DeWayne R. Stallworth in LGBT

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. once stated, “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” The same dictum can be applied when analyzing the challenges associated with religious bias and LGBT inequality, especially within the black church. These issues should have a pronounced platform in the black church, which has had the lived experience of challenging oppressive societal systems that were anchored in religious rhetoric. In the same vein, the LGBT community endures an exorbitant amount of hate via a religious interpretation regarding what is morally proper.

Within this same faith community, some indeed argue that God is opposed to same-sex relationships; as a result, such persons present themselves as diametrically opposed to the notion of same-sex happiness, love, marriage, family, and sexual intimacy. It is important to note that such a discriminatory perception is rooted in a religious interpretation regarding God’s relational will for humanity. This is a tautological debate which the black church must refuse to entertain and/or engage. Rather, the black church should be committed to conversation regarding pragmatics which promote the love ethic of Jesus Christ.

Cultural advocacy is a definitive component of Jesus’ philosophical and theological mandate of assisting “the least of these.” As such, cultural advocacy (also known as social justice) must be connected to… [Read more…] about Will the Real Black Church Please Stand Up?

The Dangers of Russian Dolls: Finding the T in LGBT

by Lauren Salerno in LGBT

For reasons of safety and common bond we spend our lives as part of communities that resemble matryoshka dolls, the wooden Russian toys that nest inside one another, each doll hiding a smaller one. And so our communities contain other communities: family, locality, work, race, gender, hobbies, and many more.

Growing up, I was part of at least a dozen such communities, and some of the most personal ones were also the most misunderstood and ignored–concealed and subsumed by broader, more prominent groups. Today, it seems that little has changed. I am still part of many communities, some dating back to childhood (since family is a community), but I find that being Trans, nestled within the larger LGBT matryoshka, is often harmful.

Both in Europe (where I come from) and the United States, the LGBT community (possibly adding other letters or symbols) is usually spoken of as if it is monolithic, a single group with a shared identity and bond–but it is not. The well-loved British (and gay) actor Christopher Biggins recently claimed that bisexuals are just gay people in denial and even the cause of the AIDS epidemic. Until last year, Stonewall, the leading UK LGB charity and advocacy group, excluded Trans people, even though Trans people led the 1969 Stonewall riots which sparked the gay rights movement.

People refer to the successes made by LGBT groups and cite issues that don’t fully concern the Trans movement. In debates about the “sinfulness” of LGBT people, Christian… [Read more…] about The Dangers of Russian Dolls: Finding the T in LGBT

From Ignorance to Acceptance: When You Realize You Had It All Wrong

by Dede Mahler in Fundamentalism, LGBT

Can a person become an Unfundamentalist from a Fundamentalist world?  Of course! But I didn’t get here overnight, and it still surprises me that I am here at all. But I’m grateful, and wish that more would make the journey.

I grew up in a Christian home, and I didn’t even know until looking back later that we were Fundamentalist.  “Conservative” meant “good,” “Liberal” meant some sort of evil. I knew growing up that my dad’s family was Catholic and we were Lutheran, and at some point I found out that my dad’s family didn’t attend my parents’ wedding because they weren’t allowed to by their church.

The topic of sex and marriage in our home was a shameful one. I was taught that sex in general was sinful, but that it was supposed to be all good as long as a person was married—meaning, of course, that the two people of opposite genders were married to each other! My parents got married at ages 19 and 20, so staying a virgin until marriage was a whole different ball game than now, when people marry in their 30s or beyond. But marriage for them wasn’t exactly great either. My mom often talked about how difficult being married was, how it would be wrong to divorce, and how she soldiered on anyway.

When I was young, in the ’70s and early ’80s, living together before marriage started to become more common, but we were taught that it was terribly sinful. And divorce? Out of the question for Christians. It was only after my first divorce, after I lived with my second husband… [Read more…] about From Ignorance to Acceptance: When You Realize You Had It All Wrong

How a Bumper Sticker Changed Everything

by Melissa Mead in LGBT

This guest post is by Melissa Mead.

I had no idea that as I walked from my vehicle into my church on that April day in 2009, that I would later be asked to resign from my position under suspicion that I was gay.

I had no idea that the staff pastors were having secret meetings for weeks, discussing this suspicion that was based off of the fact that the iconic equality bumper sticker from the Human Rights Campaign was visible on my vehicle.

I had no idea that when one of the staff pastors sat down with me to ask my opinion on what the Bible actually says about homosexuality, he wasn’t looking for my educated exegesis. He was looking for a way to twist my words to provide incriminating evidence for those secret meetings.

I had no idea that the pastor and his wife, who had become family to me over the years, would say that I could keep my job, if only I agreed to go to reparative therapy (which I promptly declined).

As I sat in the pastor’s office that day, I thought about how the pastor and his wife had become another set of parents to me. I had attended the small private school at the church since I was 3, and had known the pastor and his family since I was 12 years old. I was close with their daughter, as we grew up together in youth group and started attending the same Christian college the same year. Every time they came to visit their daughter, they made time to visit with me, too. They watched me develop my skills in Biblical study and homiletics and always… [Read more…] about How a Bumper Sticker Changed Everything