Trigger Warning: this article is about sexual assault and may be triggering to survivors.
In 1998, I lived in Willowvale, South Africa and taught seventh grade as a missionary for a fundamentalist church. I was 19, away from home, and living with other American teachers, most of whom were around my age.
For one school break, many of my fellow teachers took trips to game parks and such, while I stayed behind with another teacher named Kendra. One night, Kendra and I were sitting in the living room area. It was very late. We were both night owls. We were reminiscing, telling stories from our lives. It was a quiet, beautiful night. We were enjoying each other’s company, when suddenly we heard a woman screaming, unsure if it was playful or harmful.
We gave our full attention to hear in the silence. The sound of my heartbeat was in my ears–I was on full alert. We heard her again, only this time it was louder and the woman was crying. Then we heard the man. Her screams and cries were even worse. She was being raped.
Kendra and I stared at each other, pleadingly. Helplessness overwhelmed us and we started crying. We began to rock, our knees to our chest, the closest we could come to a fetal position without the vulnerability of lying on the floor.
These two 19 year olds, alone in a land not their own with no access to any emergency services and no ability to intervene. We sobbed as we heard the woman sobbing. We held onto each other and prayed it… [Read more…] about Bearing Witness, Feeling Helpless, and Straining to Hear