Unfundamentalist

Above All, Love

Fundamentalism

Fundamentalism and Domestic Violence

by Alex Camire in Fundamentalism

I was having a conversation with a friend earlier today. We don’t talk that often, at least not about politics or religion, because our opinions are entirely different. I’ve recently been going through a transition away from fundamentalism and into a more progressive belief and relationship with Christ. This has unfortunately created a rift in some of my friendships with those who are still quintessentially evangelical.

I don’t recall how this conversation started, but we ended up talking about hell. Hell was one of the major catalysts that caused me to reevaluate my beliefs about God. I grew up in a church that taught what might be called a traditional view on hell: that it’s a place of eternal conscious torment.

After a period of doubt, I found myself no longer able to reconcile this belief with the idea of a loving God. The two things just didn’t seem compatible. I’m not sure yet if I consider myself an Annihilationist or a Universalist, but that’s a decision I’ll come to in time after more study, thought, and prayer. The point is, I no longer subscribe to the concept of eternal conscious torment, and that alone has had an enormous effect on the way I see God and the way I view my relationship with God.

So my friend and I were talking about hell; he was aware of my change in thought and that, of course, did not sit well with him, though he was at least willing to have a conversation about it. Most of the conversation was the typical back and forth, but there was a… [Read more…] about Fundamentalism and Domestic Violence

Why I Left the Mormon Church (And You Probably Would Have, Too)

by Rachael S. in Fundamentalism

A common accusation against ex-Mormons is that they “leave the church, but can’t leave it alone.” This phrase sounds a lot like “you know you like it.” When reading the stories of lives lived under the Mormon church, imagine your own life lived under such pervasive control. Mormon thought is policed to the point where 12-year-old boys and girls are regularly and formally interrogated by adult male clergy about their sexual fantasies, activities, and masturbation habits.

Would living under such an invasive institution not shape your identity such that it was impossible to simply leave it alone? Could you simply forget or move on from having been a child who was asked by an adult to describe the ways you think about or touch your budding body? Whether it was touched by or talked about with your boyfriend or girlfriend, in excruciating detail? Would you not wonder why so much time was spent on this particular topic in the Bishop’s interview? Whether he, in fact, “liked” it?

Would you not wonder how often this Bishop’s interview added physical sexual assault to verbal harassment?

Further, would you not, perhaps, wonder whether it was moral for you, knowing the effects of such an institution as intimately as you do, to “leave it alone?”

Ex-Mormons are forced to move on with their lives knowing that others are being damaged the way they were. It’s not as if the church has changed because an ex-Mormon once wrote a heartfelt letter of resignation from it. (It’s also not… [Read more…] about Why I Left the Mormon Church (And You Probably Would Have, Too)

From Ignorance to Acceptance: When You Realize You Had It All Wrong

by Dede Mahler in Fundamentalism, LGBT

Can a person become an Unfundamentalist from a Fundamentalist world?  Of course! But I didn’t get here overnight, and it still surprises me that I am here at all. But I’m grateful, and wish that more would make the journey.

I grew up in a Christian home, and I didn’t even know until looking back later that we were Fundamentalist.  “Conservative” meant “good,” “Liberal” meant some sort of evil. I knew growing up that my dad’s family was Catholic and we were Lutheran, and at some point I found out that my dad’s family didn’t attend my parents’ wedding because they weren’t allowed to by their church.

The topic of sex and marriage in our home was a shameful one. I was taught that sex in general was sinful, but that it was supposed to be all good as long as a person was married—meaning, of course, that the two people of opposite genders were married to each other! My parents got married at ages 19 and 20, so staying a virgin until marriage was a whole different ball game than now, when people marry in their 30s or beyond. But marriage for them wasn’t exactly great either. My mom often talked about how difficult being married was, how it would be wrong to divorce, and how she soldiered on anyway.

When I was young, in the ’70s and early ’80s, living together before marriage started to become more common, but we were taught that it was terribly sinful. And divorce? Out of the question for Christians. It was only after my first divorce, after I lived with my second husband… [Read more…] about From Ignorance to Acceptance: When You Realize You Had It All Wrong

Teaching Children About Hell

by Cindy Brandt in Christian Issues, Fundamentalism

I was a morbidly fearful child. I was also a highly literate child, having learned to read before school years. My mother tongue is Mandarin, and the storybooks I consumed were Chinese folk stories. Some of them were harmless tales of developing moral character, but many recounted ancient Chinese myths of hell. In Chinese folk religion, hell consists of eighteen levels, each containing a specific type of torture reserved for corresponding sins. It is not a stretch to say that the images of hell I saw in picture books as a young girl impact me to this day. I was terrified.

Fast forward to my school-age years, when my parents sent me to a Christian school started by western missionaries, where I learned of the Jesus who could save me from hell. It was a no-brainer for me. I believed swiftly because I was deathly afraid of hell.

I have told this testimony many, many times throughout my growing up years in the Christian world. It was the ice-breaker to my testimony, the chuckle-inducing anecdote to begin a speech: “I accepted Jesus because I didn’t want to go to hell!” People would smile and nod with approval at my child-like faith. How did nobody tell me it was not funny?

Certainly, as I grew in cognitive and spiritual development, I learned there was more to the Christian life than an escape from hell, but once you begin a relationship with God based on fear it takes years to unlearn the image of the punitive God to be able… [Read more…] about Teaching Children About Hell

The Paradox of Fundamentalism

by in Fundamentalism

Earlier this week on the Unfundamentalist Christians Facebook Page we linked to John Shore’s post “Is hell real?” What are we, six-year-olds?

In response, several of our readers offered their thoughts on the fundamentalist understanding of hell and salvation:

Ryan J.: They say if I don’t believe in it [hell] or don’t believe it’s eternal, that apparently I’m going to go there.

Stacey N.: That is something I honestly don’t get. It’s like, you can tell someone what you believe — that you’ve done the Sinner’s Prayer thing, you’ve been down the Roman Road, but somehow, if you’ve poured over scripture and don’t think your friends who haven’t are going to BURN FOREVER — I guess that means you’ve “lost your salvation” or never had it and jumping through the right hoops means nothing?

And then our Social Media Manager, Christy Caine, added her own brilliant breakdown of the fundamentalist mindset:

It doesn’t make sense, this paradox that you point out. But they refuse to acknowledge the paradox and as other intelligent people have made the point: you cannot remove by logic ideas that were not placed there by it.

Fundamentalists and many (most?) conservative religious people hold a binary worldview: black and white thinking, this or that (but never both), all or nothing, there is no gray.

So, even though they can say with confidence “in order to become a Christian you need to do X, and you’ve done X,” another part of their belief is… [Read more…] about The Paradox of Fundamentalism

I Would Have Defended My Abuser, Too

by April Kelsey in Current Events, Fundamentalism

Last week, I learned that the Duggar family will be participating in a documentary on child sex abuse in conjunction with Darkness to Light and Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN).

Last month, Jill and Jessa Duggar appeared on Fox News to talk about their abuse experience and how they’ve forgiven their brother Josh for molesting them. In the interview, the young women minimized what was done to them, saying that Josh was merely “sexually curious” and that the abuse wasn’t that bad.

Though it turned my stomach, it did not surprise me at all. Had a TV reporter sat down with me at age 24, I would have said pretty much the same thing.

At age 8, I was similarly molested by someone close to me. At the time the abuse occurred, I knew that it was wrong, or at least very weird. But I didn’t understand it. Growing up in fundamentalism means that you often don’t have words to explain experiences that occur outside of your worldview–words like rape, consent, agency, autonomy, erotic, vagina, and molestation. For the first three years post-abuse, I was confused about what happened. I wasn’t angry, just confused. I didn’t know what had happened to me or how to contextualize it.

But then, when I was about 11 years old, the reality hit me out of the blue. Suddenly, I had a word to explain my experience. And with that word came the rage. I knew then, without a doubt,… [Read more…] about I Would Have Defended My Abuser, Too

Why We Shouldn’t Say "Modest is Hottest"

by April Kelsey in Fundamentalism

Modest is hottest. It’s a phrase that was coined a few years ago to convince Christian women that dressing modestly is sexy and attractive. Because that’s what women care about, right? The male gaze. Knowing that they’re considered pretty and desirable despite ankle-length pants and neck-high collars.

“Modest is hottest” is a phrase that needs to disappear. Immediately. It needs to be completely erased from the Christian lexicon—because it plays right into the secular objectification and hyper-sexualization of women.

Let me explain.

Growing up as a woman in a fundamentalist evangelical community meant that I was often the target of modesty teachings. Men were visual, I was told, and a spaghetti strap, a too-short hemline or a too-thin shirt might cause them to look at me in a sexual way. Never mind that I was in elementary school. Never mind that I lived in Florida with 100+ degree summers and 90 percent humidity. Never mind that my body was about as flat and unexciting as a porch plank. Someone might still try to sexualize my body.

Except that my church had already sexualized my body by teaching these things.

As young as 6, 8, and 10 years old, my friends and I were viewed by our parents and leaders as potential objects of lust and temptation. The fact that a teen or grown adult man could become sexually aroused by our uncovered knees and shoulders was viewed as normal. While we were told… [Read more…] about Why We Shouldn’t Say "Modest is Hottest"

Warning! This World Has Redefined the Word Love

by in Fundamentalism

A UC reader recently shared the above image via our Facebook Page (you have Liked our FB page, right?). Since we’ve tackled “Christian” memes in the past, and since this one conveys sentiments that we regularly hear from our friends on the (far) right of the political and theological spectrum, I thought I’d take a moment to address its not-so-subtle points.

This world has redefined the word love
This world (as opposed to other worlds?) definitely hasn’t redefined the meaning of the word love. Love has a standard dictionary definition that, as far as I’m aware, still accurately reflects modern usage.
Acceptance of all false religions
No one should accept any false religion, let alone all false religions. Why on earth would you believe something that’s false? What we should do, however, is accept the reality that many people have religious beliefs that differ from our own, and that, from their perspective, we’re the ones who hold to a false religion. And, given that disparity, the best way to promote peace and understanding is to avoid terms like “false religion” entirely and instead seek to find common ground and shared beliefs.
Tolerance of all sinful behavior
As long as sinful behavior doesn’t break the law or directly affect our lives, we do have to tolerate it. This doesn’t have anything to do with love, it’s just life.
Tolerance of false doctrines
We also have to tolerate false… [Read more…] about Warning! This World Has Redefined the Word Love

Christian Fundamentalism's Grand Illusion

by Chuck Queen in Fundamentalism

I recently wrote two pieces published at Baptist News Global (“A Scripture Lesson on Fundamentalism” and “What does a progressive Christian statement of faith look like?) that ignited a response I repeatedly hear from conservatives.

Their claim is that progressive Christian faith is based on subjective criteria not rooted in any objective reality. Of course, their objective reality is their inerrant Bible.

One frequent commenter on my articles said:
“The authority for what is written begins and ends with those that wrote it. . . . These so-called progressives don’t use the term infallible but in reality they see what they wrote [the reference here is to the Phoenix Affirmations] as correct without any authority except themselves.”
Another who is also a frequent contributor of articles on the website said:
“I fail to see how on the progressive worldview any of these [the Phoenix Affirmations] can really be taken as more than mere expressions of personal preference . . . How do we decide which is right and which is wrong? . . . how do we know what is true and what is not? Surely you have defined truth for you, but without an objective standard, how do we know that your truth is any more true than any others? [emphasis mine]”
My response to this line of argument is that all religious belief and experience is subjective – all of it.

The above critic continued:
“If all spiritual truth is subjective, then it’s not really spiritual truth. It’s spiritual opinion . . . you… [Read more…] about Christian Fundamentalism's Grand Illusion

The Duggars: Privilege and Personal Irresponsibility

by Don M. Burrows in Christian Issues, Current Events, Fundamentalism

View image | gettyimages.com

Nothing has laid bare how obviously conservatives’ own privilege trumps the “personal responsibility” they demand of everyone else than the ongoing saga regarding Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s oldest progeny and his apparent teenage preoccupation with molesting young girls.

On the one hand, the Duggars are so committed to sexual responsibility that they adhere to a rigid gender and procreative ideology that eschews all sexuality outside of heterosexual marriage, birth control (even within said marriage), and of course abortion, to the point that they will blithely imply that anyone who falls outside their sexual orthodoxy is prone to molest and prey on children.

On the other hand is their son Josh Duggar, who we now know made it a recurring habit as a youngster to not only molest females while they slept, but to do so to his own sisters, who were as young as 5 years old, annihilating pretty much every sexual taboo across cultures worldwide.

Yet of course, the Duggars are the true victims, as they told Fox News Wednesday night, because:

Liberals have it in for them, because they’re “Christian.” Actually, if liberals have it in for the Duggars, it’s because of the very public campaigns they’ve waged against equal rights for gays and lesbians throughout the years. Liberals don’t have a problem with “Christians” overall. Many liberals are Christians.
The wicked Springdale Police Department released a report via the… [Read more…] about The Duggars: Privilege and Personal Irresponsibility