Donald Trump is a hit among evangelicals. In his own words: “I love them. They love me. I love the evangelicals. Why do they love me? You’ll have to ask them–but they do.” Indeed Donald, why? Well, regardless, since they somehow do, I thought I would help them out by giving them something of a catechesis–instructions on how to make America great again.
Donald 5
The Trumpitudes
5 When the Donald saw the crowds, he went up the podium; and after he sat down, his supporters came to him.2 Then he began to speak, and taught them, saying:
3 “Blessed are the rich, for theirs is the American dream.
4 “Blessed are those who win, for they will be called winners.
5 “Blessed are the assertive, for they will make America great.
6 “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for power, for they will be filled.
7 “Blessed are those who bomb the shit out of ISIS, for they will find victory.
8 “Blessed are those who close the deal, for they are deal closers.
9 “Blessed are those who make law and order, for they are zealous for the nation.
10 “Blessed are those who destroy the enemy for righteousness’ sake, for they will make America great again.
11 “Blessed are you when you destroy your enemies and crush the terrorists and utter all kinds of accusations against them in the name of God and country. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is a great America, a white America.
13 “You are the trumpeters of the… [Read more…] about The Sermon of the Trump: Evangelical Catechesis